iThing apps: the first page of one-trick ponies

This is the first of several pages I have of those apps you buy, basically just so you can show off your iThing.

Banner Free

This app shows off the size of the iThing’s screen by turning it into an immitation LED banner, on which you can write whatever you please. I believe this was the second app I downloaded, Right after facebook.


It’s worth noting that Susan does take offence to this app, and why not? you can pretend to shoot a multitude of weapons, from grenades to uzis to bazookas. There’s even a combat knife there too. Use the acceleromater to reload by shaking and the touch screen to fire in manual or full auto depending on the weapon. Maybe Susan doesn’t like it because last time I had it out I aimed it at her

Mood Phone

This one’s a bit touch and go, literally. You place your thumb in the rectangle, press ‘Check Mood’ wth your other forefinger, and get a mood ring style result. It’s not one-hundred percent accurate, though. Unless it’s revealing some deep inner issues…


A taser on the iThing, how original. I’ve found this works better if you have an iPhone, due to the vibration when you press the trigger. The bolt of electricity can have it’s colour changed, and you can swap the taser for a set of jumper cables. Shameless fun.

Virtual Zippo

Made good use of this at Samstock and the Balck Boy Peaches gig. It’s a must-have for everyone who has an iThing. As well as customazing your own lighter, you can then flick the cap open, flick the flint at the top and have a virtual flame come out, which responds to the angle of the iThing, as well as the it’s movements. If you’re on an iThing with a mic, you can blow it out too.

Sound Grenade

I tried it once. I’ll never try it again. It’s a high frequency sound emitter that will make anyone’s head explode. Not the kind of alarm clock you want in the least, but hey, the option is there.

Sound Box

This little box has several pages of sound effects in it, not least of all, fart sounds. I’m not impressed by the fart sounds to be honest. I stopped thinking those were funny at about the age of twelve. What did impress me was the remote activation and the time delay. I have yet to disrupt a meeting with it, but the potential is at least there.

SpeedTest, the site famous for letting you show off how fast your internet connection is, have released an iThing app which…well…lets you show off how fast your internet connection is. As you can see, mine is somewhere in the middle, but at least I don’t have to power my server using an exercycle. Includes a history of tests. Otherwise it operates just like the website.

Spawn Lite

Another genre in the dirth of applications that arose with the iThing was interactive digital art, which bisically fits the bill of my one-trick pony apps to a tee. This one presents an array of shooting stars that cencentrate wherever you touch the screen.


Another in the interactive art space, this is similar to Spawn, but includes sound, and is controlled by the accelerometer.


This app capitalizes on the clean, attarctive interface of the iThing to bring together all of those ways to change your name (pirate, jedi, stripper et. al) It really is one of the most showy apps out there, is the most simple.

MotionX Dice

Gives you several diferent types of dices and tables, and will roll them fore you, or let you roll them yourself. Simple, but again, taking advantage of the iThings graphics.

Album Shuffle

It’s, like, what would happen if CoverFlow was incontinent! There, now that I’ve made that joke there’s not a lot else to say. It really does behave just like cover flow, except that you can move the album covers anywhere, even throw them off-screen. This app also lets you play the labums like Cover Flow does. No need for an iThing daiper here.

LP Player

Another music playing alternative, it lets you load up songs into the virtual turntable, and play them by putting the needle on the record. You can have varying degrees of pop and hiss from none at all, right up to the eighty year-old 78s your great grandfather passed down through the family. Only downside is that you can’t scratch your collection, which you may have been lead to believe, since the turntable used looks like an imitation Technics 1200.

Free Vibrating Massager

I won’t lie, I got this for massaging Susan’s back. I mean my iThing is is a case, so it’s not like it’s that weird. You can control the frequency of the pulses right up to having the phone continuously vibrate.

There’s more of these ‘crappyapps’ to come, but I’ll save them for another time


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